Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
