found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
