I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
