Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
