I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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