idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we made out on top of his cat.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize