I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
