he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize