my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
