RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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