The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
