Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize