well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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