D3 body, D1 cock
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
