2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
