I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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