I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
