Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
