i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
