I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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