What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
