So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
false alarm, still single
Randomize
