"it" just moved
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
