just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
