Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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