who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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