So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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