I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
