Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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