you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
