She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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