dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I need a burrito and a hug.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
