my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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