they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize