and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
there's paper in my vomit.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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