It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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