thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My cat gives me a boner
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
