Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
