There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
