i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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