WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
