He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize