I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
