i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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