when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Ladies don't puke and tell
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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