Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
