weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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