i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
