I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
