So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
