Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
