So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
