kristin has been a bad kristin
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize