i jhust puked up my retainher.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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