Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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