If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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