This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
