"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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