I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
