Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
