I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
