i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
