From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
