Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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