Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
