How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
